Hilary Duff Opens Up About Sister — Experts Call It a Healing Move
Hilary Duff recently confirmed speculationthat she has a strained relationship with her older sister, Haylie. Therapists who focus on managing life changes, family interactions, and relationships suggest that cutting ties with family can sometimes be a "positive" decision for individuals in specific circumstances.
The musician and actor, who unveiled her latest album "luck.. or something" on Friday, discussed her difficult connection with her sibling.in a heartfelt one-on-one conversation with CBS this week.
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When asked if her new song on the album, "We Don't Talk," was inspired by her sister, Duff told CBS News special correspondent Anthony Mason that the latest track is "definitely about my sister."
We Don't Talk" includes these lyrics: "I'm not sure when it happened / Not even sure what it was about," followed by her saying: "Because we come from the same home, the same blood / A different mix, but the same lock.
The loneliest aspect of my life right now is not having my sister with me," Duff said to CBS. She mentioned she had a hard time deciding whether to share details about their relationship in the album, but eventually chose to do so because it was her "truth.
The artist referred to herself as "someone who exists in the world without my other half" and mentioned that she has discovered many others share comparable experiences.
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When Mason inquired if she hoped her sister would listen to the song, Duff responded that she didn't believe it would improve things.
I believe I must simply exist as an individual and pursue what I want to do," she stated. "I hope that for everyone, that's where I'm coming from. You have to do what you want to do. And you have to do what feels right for you.
"It has taken me a great deal of time to arrive at that point and to live in that manner," she continued.
A spokesperson for Haylie Duff did not promptly respond to a request for a statement.
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In general, family conflicts can impact individuals differently, he said.Whitney McSparran, a certified professional clinical counselor at Thriveworks who focuses on assisting people dealing with life changes, anxiety, and depression.
Similar to how every family and its dynamics are distinct, the effect of estrangement on health and well-being can differ," she stated. "Although cutting off contact with a family member might eventually be beneficial, emotions like grief, sadness, loss, resentment, anger, and lingering pain are typical.
"Without assistance in understanding and managing these emotions, they may begin to adversely affect general mood, daily performance, and important relationships," she added.
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In certain situations, family estrangement may be considered the "most beneficial" choice, according to specialists.
Deciding to remove or reduce contact can be the most beneficial choice when maintaining the relationship leads to ongoing damage," McSparran stated. "This may involve abusive actions (emotional, physical, sexual, verbal, financial), adverse effects on your mental well-being or recovery, or harm to individuals you are accountable for, particularly children.
McSparran mentioned that anyone thinking about family estrangement should reflect on the following questions:
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What do I expect will change if there is no or minimal contact?
What exactly do I want this to resemble?
Am I willing to restart or expand communication at some point? If yes, what conditions would need to be met for this to be a secure decision for me and the people I care for?
What are the possible "results" of maintaining no or minimal contact? Am I prepared to handle this situation? In what ways could this affect my other relationships?
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Who are the people supporting me during this journey? Who should be aware of it or participate?
How can I take care of myself?
Kathryn Nin Emery, a licensed professional counselor at Thriveworks who focuses on family interactions and relationships, stated that it can "definitely" be beneficial to decrease or restrict communication with a relative.
In certain circumstances, failing to separate from an unhealthy relationship can significantly impact your well-being, she stated.
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If chronic abuse and neglect go unnoticed, individuals may experience serious physical symptoms and long-term health problems due to prolonged stress," she stated. "I often observe gastrointestinal problems, autoimmune disorders, and ongoing pain as possible signs of the lasting pressure.
Furthermore, "prolonged exposure to language rooted in shame, verbal abuse, insults, humiliation, and manipulation—particularly over many years—can result in profound shame and issues with self-worth that may require years of therapy to address," Emery noted. "It is logical to decide to remove yourself from harmful situations."
Emery mentioned that when family conflicts arise in her work, she frequently talks to her clients about the ideas of personal accountability versus collective responsibility. They also examine if their family problems are impacting their physical well-being, financial security, mental health, or emotional state.
She mentioned that some individuals might find it beneficial to write a letter to their family members, while others could have the means to help their family understand how they can take steps to address the harm they have done.
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Emery mentioned that you might find yourself asking: "How is my body responding when I am with them?" or "Am I going through abuse or neglect?"
Looking for expert assistance during a time of family conflict can be "very" beneficial.
If you have the means to consult with a mental health expert regarding your choice to limit or stop contact with a relative, McSparran advised that it is beneficial.
Consulting with a specialist can be very beneficial when dealing with complex family situations, and family disconnection is no exception," she stated. "A counselor can assist you in working through your mixed and challenging feelings, acquire techniques and approaches for handling possible outcomes, and help you build a stronger support system.
Emery mentioned that she strongly advises seeking professional assistance and guidance from your community.
The deep sorrow caused by family separation is not something one should endure alone," she stated. "It is important to have a community and social support, and one should be encouraged to combat feelings of isolation.
"You are not alone in this journey, and having social support, even if it seems unusual, is one of the most well-supported actions you can take, so please do," she said.
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